Rebirth and New Beginnings

Spring holds the potential for new beginnings.

The cycle of rebirth in nature is one that typically follows the seasons. And in spring, plants germinate from seed. In summer, plants grow strong and tall. In fall, plants flower and  seed. In winter, plants grow dormant or die. Humans follow a similar cycle with aging. And we also follow a similar cycle with our major life transitions.

Life transitions can be joyful or unwanted. The excitement of a teenager getting their driver’s license can be an exciting rite of passage that marks the transition to adulthood. The birth or adoption of a child marks the transition into parenthood. The upset from divorce is a marker of the transition of leaving behind or reframing a particular relationship. The passing of an older parent illuminates our own transition into old age. 

Whether wanted or unwanted, each transition holds the potential for a new beginning. YOU get to decide what that new beginning will bring forth. The fresh start from a divorce often brings an opportunity to remember and reacquaint yourself with who you are and re-evaluate where you want to go. 

The Beauty of Mourning

While we love the excitement of spring, winter is necessary to truly appreciate the uniqueness and radiance of this new beginning. I would like to emphasize the importance of a period of mourning during major life transitions. Mourning for the loss of a loved one, relationship, our health, or season of life is the important and necessary winter phase of the rebirth cycle. You cannot create a healthy new sprout by jumping from fall to spring. The introspective transition period of mourning is what makes the dawn of a new day so brilliant. 

When you are ready for that fresh start, I encourage you to be very intentional about it. Take time to reflect on what this new sprout will look like or feel like. For example, if you know that you will be becoming a parent, reflect deeply on what that choice means for you and how you want to step into this new role. What is important for you to keep for yourself and what is important to let go of? And where can you soften? Transitions should not make us more rigid to brace ourselves from fear of it happening again, but should open our hearts and minds to new possibilities of living. 

Opening to New Beginnings

Think of a personal transition you are working on or want for yourself. It could be as simple as becoming vegetarian or buying a new car to something more difficult like getting sober or leaving an abusive partner. 

Close your eyes and imagine the situation in front of you. Bring to mind your main fears around making this change. Write them down if that is helpful. You will find two types of fears. Fears that originate with you and fears that originate with others. Reflect on the fears around this change and ask yourself if they are fears that were placed there by others or by yourself. 

When working with fears from others, the antidote is to flip the script. For example, if you want to become vegetarian, you may be afraid that your friends won’t invite you to eat out with them anymore or that at Thanksgiving your mother will cry when you don’t eat her turkey. Clearly, these fears revolve around others and their reactions to your choice. Instead, imagine your friends being super supportive and wanting to eat at healthier restaurants. And your mother is delighted with the culinary challenge of a tofu turkey! We never actually know how people will react until we make that leap. Remember that we cannot change how others feel or behave, but only our reaction to them. If your mom does actually cry over turkey, let her, but don’t accept the guilt trip. 

For any fears that originate in yourself, you will want to ask some hard questions. 

• If you are afraid to try because you feel like you’ll fail, what is the evidence to support that fear? 

• If you’ve tried before, what makes this time different? 

• What else are you willing to do, within reason,  to make this happen for yourself? (i.e. cutting out fancy coffee to save $50/month for your new car payment)

• If you have unsupportive friends or family are you willing to change the relationship or let them go?

• How will you change to support your fresh start ? 

Visualize yourself making it through this winter period and stepping into spring. How do you feel? How do your loved ones feel? You are strong and amazing. Your mind is a powerful tool in helping you achieve your dreams. Keep visualizing the other side of this transition and one day you will be there!

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